How to Get Out of Jury Duty…and be a hero for it, instead of a “bad citizen”!

Look at jury duty as your chance to tell the truth!
Look at jury duty as your chance to tell the truth!

That damned envelope shows up, informing you that you must Serve Your Country. No, not a draft notice, the other one; Jury Duty. This might not seem so bad…you get to decide someone’s fate and maybe read newspapers with holes cut in them…but the government has conveniently “forgotten” to link what they pay you to inflation, so that you’re getting the same four cents per day (to make up for your lost work) as ancient Roman citizens got when Caesar was still in his bronze diapers.

But if you try to ditch jury duty, you have to face twin hurdles:

  • You will be a “bad citizen”, as the whole fabric of society depends on trial by jury…
  • And, far more important, if you try to skip out they’ll reinstate capital punishment for jury evaders, or at least drag you into court and fine you or something.

So you have to come up with a really “compelling reason” why you can’t serve, despite your honest desire (cough) to live up to your civic duties.

Unfortunately, the courts will often reject even truly valid reasons, so the ones you’re making up right now are even less likely to save your butt.

But tremble in fear no longer, a solution is at hand!

Simply Be Honest

All you have to do is admit to the court that you know the powers you would have as a juror.

See, the courts weren’t really in on the whole “Constitutional Convention” thing, and ever since 1787 they’ve been bending over backwards to weed out troublemakers who insist on sticking to some of the rights protected back then. Continue reading “How to Get Out of Jury Duty…and be a hero for it, instead of a “bad citizen”!”